About the Book
Some say it's the greatest love letter ever written...
It just happens to be written to the family the author walked away from. Christian had the life everyone said he wanted — a good job, a loving wife, a beautiful son, a home. And still, shaped by childhood trauma, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and a lifetime of unprocessed pain, he ran. What followed was a descent through addiction,
broken relationships, and a darkness no one expected him to survive.
If You Line Them All Up is his unflinching account of it all — the chaos of a fractured childhood, the years lost to substances and self-destruction, the rock star, the homelessness, and the night that nearly ended everything.
But this is not only a story of falling. It's a story of what happened after: a hospital bed in the ICU, and a voice that wouldn't let him stay silent.
Told with raw honesty and addressed, in the end, directly to the wife and son he lost, this account doesn't offer easy answers. It offers truth — about mental illness, about the wreckage addiction leaves behind, and about a God who kept showing up even when Christian couldn't see Him.